When I introduced Metamedicine® in past articles, I mentioned founder Claudia Rainville’s cult book “Every Symptom is a Message”-reissued with new additions a few years ago under the title Metamedicine® 2.0.
But among Rainville’s formidable books, one cannot fail to mention “Healing the Wounds of the Past,” a text that is very helpful in understanding how in life we tend to repeat scripts, typically acquired in our childhood.
In the previous article I introduced , talking about couple crises in pregnancy, the link between what we experience in pregnancy , a time when we are very open at the heart level and emotionally exposed, which if it resonates with something older that resides in our emotional memory can cause us much pain and suffering (if not illness).
I promised you that I would dedicate this article to sexuality in relation to pregnancy/partum and breastfeeding.
How do you experience sexuality during pregnancy?
the meeting with Catherine
She and her partner have been together for a couple of years, and it is a very deep and fulfilling relationship in which sexuality has an important place.
With the arrival of pregnancy, welcomed with great joy by both of them, their understanding after the first few weeks begins to falter.
That’s why she comes in for counseling.
The thing that worries her most about this arrangement that “isn’t the same as before” is the idea of losing her partner. Becoming less desirable and having less desire herself (because of hormonal adjustments) fears that it might turn him toward others.
In that less desire we actually discovered that there was not only the hormonal issue but mostly there was the fact that she was trying to Step into the shoes of the good mother to best accommodate the new life within her …but a good mother …does not have sex or at any rate does not do it the way she used to conceive it.
Although she had found a good balance with this man and was experiencing a true love affair, still vibrating in her, and in her womb, were all the past, fleeting, stormy at times violent sex relationships, what she had matured about sex and its equations.
We come together to understand that she, a beautiful woman with a stormy past of rebellion (to not be the bimbo her parents wanted her to be) even, at times, to her own detriment, had registered the equation sex=weapon = power (over man, over mate).
How could the “Good Mother” that was making its way into her coexist with the woman who seeks to have power over men through sex?
The topic of sexuality was not only urgent at that time to bring serenity back into the relationship, but it was also urgent in view of childbirth.
Giving birth is a sexual act in its own right (think of what has been written about the possibility of ecstatic birth), and if she had not been at peace with her own sexuality the physiological flow of childbirth could have been compromised.
We then researched the root cause that had led her to conceive of sex as a weapon to assert her power, and through the keys and processes of Metamedicine® we transformed her equations.
Since that day we have been seeing each other again and she told me about very sweet relationships and also about times when she felt like saying “no” to her partner, in order to respect herself and her feeling, to find that that “no” did not create any problems for her partner-all of this allowed the couple to mature together and create a new sexuality all their own without any more chained memories conditioning them.
But the topic of sexuality is not only about pregnancy and childbirth.
If we talk about breastfeeding, we cannot again fail to return to it.
I remember many, many years ago, before I was facing a pregnancy myself, that an office colleague told me that she had very much wanted her daughter but that for nothing in the world would she give birth to her and so she had asked for an elective cesarean right away. Talking then about breastfeeding, she told me that “the idea of breastfeeding her sucked,” so she proceeded immediately with formula feeding.
What do you read into these choices? What do you read into these words?
I am not referring to a judgment of merit, I am referring to what these words really say: they are words of fear, of pure terror, at the idea for this woman to get in touch with her own physicality, her own feminine nature.
What could he have recorded in his emotional memory to re-act like this?
What pains, what wounds led you to draw these kinds of conclusions?
These are a few examples to tell you how motherhood can bring back our past wounds, which we are very free to ignore if we wish. The risk as we know is that what we don’t want to see will flow elsewhere.
incidentally : the above woman, after her pregnancy, began to suffer from chronic colitis … of petite build she always had a very swollen belly as if she were pregnant …
With this short article, I wish to lift the veil of illusion a bit, and tell you: there is always time to get better, to heal the wounds of the past and live a better life (physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually).
If you have aches and pains, or for example the aforementioned chronic colitis, know that your soul has a message for you: do you want to encode it or ignore it?
In the next article we will explore how “family memories” can affect our experience of motherhood.
