At a time in history when the only thing that seems to be able to make us stop, or at least slow down, coercively, is illness, we are quick to reassure pregnant women that “pregnancy is not an illness!”

Although it is basically true that pregnancy is not a disease, what this statement implies is that since it is not a disease, everything should run exactly as usual.

And so it happens that if you have a smooth physiological pregnancy, that is, without illness, most of us are inclined to continue with life “as before” : work/home/other children/parents/expense/social commitments accomplice to our fantastic ability to multistasking.

But is it really true that everything is as before?

I feel like saying no: the very moment we know we are carrying a life nothing is the same as before, whether this is perceived rationally or not.

Our body day by day changes profoundly, our way of feeling, of perceiving life changes … our soul opens up and day by day the transformation is more and more significant.

What then prevents us from making room for it all?

Often the only times we carve out time for us and our baby become checkups, ultrasounds, and, around the third trimester, attending some childbirth preparation classes.

Where in this “system” is the time and space for a woman to stop and enjoy what is there: herself and her child? Who encourages and supports us in ‘going to listen to ourselves, in identifying and externalizing our needs, desires, fears, anxieties, doubts?

Eh yes because we often need to be encouraged in this sense, as if of our own we do not feel entitled to take that time, each for their own reasons, for character issues, for how we grew up, for the experiences we have gone through in life, there are those who do not want to “lack” efficiency, those who are’ “controlling,” those who believe that to be loved and recognized they have to show themselves strong, rise to the occasion, those who are used to sacrificing for others etc etc.

But life sees and provides, and in our history as mothers, it will bring us opportunities – more or less welcome to us – to slow down, to go through our resistance, to get back in connection with ourselves, to take our space and our time, to listen to us and to our children who from the very beginning speak very clearly to us, to love us and to love them with all our frailties and our securities.

Have a good day of love

Written By Alexandra Francesca D'Alessandro

Also read.

Red Tent: the sacred space of women

What is the Red Tent The Red Tent is historically the sacred place of women, the place where all the passing moments such as the arrival of first menstruation, marriage, motherhood, menopause, illness, and death were celebrated. The red color of the Tent connects...

read more

Conscious childbirth = home birth?

I start from this question to bring you some thoughts with the "usual" goal of simply giving insights to everyone's personal reflections. There is much talk of "obstetrical violence," referring by this to all those practices and/or dynamics, typical of hospital...

read more

Suffering: what it is, how to get out of it

We talk about suffering, and we do so in order to really understand it, to understand what it is, what it is for, how we nurture it, and most importantly, how to get out of it, how to go through it, how to free ourselves from suffering. How many people take for...

read more