The TangoOlistico ® and the art of the embrace

It is a desirable and beautiful phenomenon that of hugging. Two friends, two lovers, two relatives.
In fact, each of you can reflect on how much space we give to this event in our daily lives. How many hugs do we exchange? And what effect do they have?

The most common hug is the mutual hug: The very act of hugging someone almost always evokes in the other an automatic reaction to respond in a similar way. One of the reasons for this energetic phenomenon lies in a somewhat adult social reaction. Why shouldn’t I reciprocate? In addition, however, this bodily dialogue is dense with psychological and character meanings. The mere act of giving evokes in most of us an immediate sense of responsibility. As if to say that returning the hug is often almost a “due” or even “expected” gesture that, moreover, also resolves an embarrassment at receiving such a gesture of affection. We often act or receive a “tap tap” on the back that acts as an interruption of contact while accepting it.
Of course, we also know very different embraces. Magical and tender place , the embrace, of a sharing of affection or, even, love.

Can we wish for an increase of any kind of embrace in our society? Sure, definitely. Because, whatever the form, the result of this bodily encounter is never taken for granted and puts us, extraordinarily, in communication with each other and ourselves.

Can we do more to distill well-being and happiness with this gesture? As the founder of TangoOlistico I say yes. You can.

In Argentine Tango, a dance from which TangoOlistico takes a strong cue, we see a fairly well-known energetic dynamic. The man, leading her, embraces the woman who, accepting this gesture, trusts in being guided during the dance. Of course, the woman also implements a form of hugging toward the man, but, by the same energetic mechanism of such a dance, hers is more a letting herself be hugged than a “holding.” Her soul is all about listening to the man, understanding the dynamics of the steps, while the man must necessarily contain, manage, reassure the woman by implementing as much as possible a functioning, solid, effective form of embrace.

As many readers will know, TangoOlistico takes full advantage of this energetic dynamic, radicalizing and integrating it. In fact, every person who experiences the Discipline finds himself leading in one dance and being led in the next. Why?

In this paper I try to answer this question only relative to the energetic dynamics of embracing (The unraveling of the motivations that led me to propose the dual role is much more complex and I will certainly have a chance to write about it in a future paper).

The reason that led me to propose these two so profoundly different embraces (one in which I am completely embraced and one, polar, in which I completely embrace) consists precisely in the fact that it is very difficult to experience this kind of energy in our daily lives, as we saw earlier.

When was the last time you were hugged by someone while you did not respond in any way and allowed yourself to be held effortlessly, without social, character, or, legitimately voluntary reactions? Think about it.

And when was the last time you held another human being in your arms while this person was feeding your feeling of activity and responsibility, not reacting, not asking, not walking away, not “talking” to you? Think about it. Think about it.

One might ask why place so much emphasis on such a kind of embrace, so radical, so all-encompassing.

I can therefore finally answer the questions. And the answer is simple, extraordinary, complex, infinite.

The total embrace, during which the recipient does nothing except let it happen, is the infant’s embrace. The moment when the infant does not, by its nature, implement any energetic mechanism of action toward the mother. It is simply being nurtured with affection. Period. And how much in our lives have we been able to enjoy such nourishment? Whatever our experience has been, it will be easy to observe in our recollection how there is still a great space to be filled, a space of embraces given in part, sometimes not at all.

Every person who experiences TangoOlistico finds themselves countless times during the group or individual session experiencing that kind of energy. Today. As an adult. At times, the feeling you get is unbearable. (“Is this really happening? Can I afford it?”) Other times the effect is ecstatic (“I’ve never experienced anything like this. I want more!”).

However it goes, it is almost impossible to remain indifferent.

But this is not the end of the story, for there is also the other side of the moon. In fact, when I find myself fully, radically embracing, I experience my more authentically adult side (maternal in particular but also paternal in other ways that I will not go into here).
This feeling of responsibility regulated by the embrace itself makes me feel my current dimension of adulthood.

I’ll stop here. Hoping to have given some useful insights into the fundamentals of TangoOlistico but especially of a very ancient and very current art, that of the embrace, which perhaps it is possible to re-learn reexperiment and re-replace. For a more colorful, serene, entrusted and ultimately. In love.

But also to help those in life who have enjoyed less of that food made of skin and warmth that has contributed so much to keeping us alive as we are. Today. ”

written by Massimo Habib Founder Tango Therapy and Holistic Tango®.