Maternal Anger: how to free yourself from suffering
The relationship with the mother is the foundation of our being, the source of nurturing, protection and acceptance. It is through this bond that we begin to know ourselves, to get in touch with our needs, emotions and our essence. It is a relationship that touches the light and shadow of who we are, but also that of those around us.
The relationship with the masculine: a theme to be explored
When I talk about masculine, many of you ask me to elaborate on this aspect. But mind you, the first masculine we have to look at is the one our mother chose. What masculine did she choose? Why did she choose him? And how did it work out? These questions are fundamental to understanding our relationship with the masculine.
The need to review the Relationship with the Mother
If you have difficulty, disharmony or difficulty getting in touch with your essence, the first thing to do is to review your relationship with your mother. It is not enough to say “it is gone now” or “I have forgiven” to really heal the pain. If something is wrong, everything is not okay!
Our egos often protect us from this suffering, but by moving away from it we do not solve it. Rather, we keep it hidden, just like the dust under the carpet. When we allow ourselves to face what we think has hurt us, we can finally get rid of the pain.
The Rage of Mothers
Many of you have asked me to talk about maternal anger. But what is this anger really? Often, there are external factors that trigger it, but what part of the self do they appeal to? Sometimes the anger manifests itself openly, other times it remains restrained, inside. Many tell stories of mothers who are depressed, or as I say, “compressed.” Some even go as far as suicide or illnesses such as cancer.
A mother’s anger is often a prison. It is a prison that the mother experiences first and foremost within herself. But the reasons why a mother is angry are rooted in a deeper history. In many cases, anger is a reflection of grief that has gone unheard for too long.
Children as a reflection of unhealed wounds
When we talk about children, we must remember that they are nothing more than detonators of our emotions. For example, when a mother feels anger toward her children, what part of herself is she seeing in them? It could be the part that has never allowed herself to be free, rebellious or authentic. And so, the children become mirrors of past wounds, and the anger spills over into their relationship.
The question I want to leave you with is, “What part of me are my children?” And, most importantly, “What doesn’t bend in them that I couldn’t bend?”
This question opens up a world, a world that leads to awareness and release from unresolved emotions.
The opportunity to grow as parents
Parenting is a unique opportunity for healing. Children, in fact, bring with them emotions and unprocessed wounds that we can finally deal with. They are an opportunity to resolve old conflicts, to get rid of the anger that limits us in our love and relationship with them.
Many of us grow up to become “angry parents” as a response to unexpressed emotions. But, if we stop and think about it, we see that anger is often a defense that turns us away from the true joy and love we should be experiencing with our children.
The anger that devours
Anger can devour us. I have seen, for example, mothers who, in order to ignore their anger, take refuge in behaviors that only make the situation worse. Excessive use of cell phones, junk food–anything that provides momentary relief but only adds to the suffering.
When anger is not listened to and dealt with, it eats away at our health and well-being. It does not allow us to really be ourselves, to connect with our essence. Anger pushes us to do things that do not belong to us, as if the feeling of not feeling it is easier than facing it.
The solution: taking care of anger
Anger is not wrong in itself. It is an emotion that speaks to us, warning us of something wrong. Ignoring it, however, is dangerous. So the question is: Do we want to keep blaming events, our children, our husbands, our parents? Or do we want to take care of ourselves and the anger we feel?
We always have a choice. This seminar is an opportunity to stop and reflect on how to deal with anger, dissolve it, and finally free ourselves from the suffering that limits us.
Summing up:
The seminar HEALING MAT ERNAL RAGE also delves into the topic of anger and how maternal anger can affect our lives, but most importantly it offers keys to dealing with it in a healthy and liberating way.
If you feel this reflection concerns you, join me on a journey of awareness and transformation.
